Awkward Moments

My 3 year old may just be in the running for the most peculiar one I know. Just putting that out there for you to ponder.

No surprise, K has a fondness for princesses. And since Disney is a mastermind at marketing, her preference is for the Disney Princesses. She likes them all, even Mulan and Pocahontas, the less popular princesses. We own and watch with regularity a handful of the Disney movies.

I have it down to a science, the scene in each movie where K will turn and spit, hit or kick at me or her father. Without fail. She's also been known to tell us to be quiet when we aren't even speaking. It's always the same.

The love scene.

The Little Mermaid...the scene with Eric and Ariel in the boat almost kissing.

Tangled...again, the boat scene with Flynn and Rapunzel kissing. As well as the end scene when Rapunzel holds dying Flynn in her arms.

Peter Pan...not a princess movie, but this one is full of awkward moments for K. The scene when the mermaids gush over Peter and various scenes of Tinker Bell expressing her jealous, animosity for Wendy.

Toy Story 3...the scene when Barbie and Ken are first introduced.

I don't have any idea what's going on in her ginormous brain, but watching the mushy, lovey-dovey scenes makes her feel awkward.

I know when the scenes are coming, I'm on heightened alert. I try to head off the mini tantrum before it even starts. I warn her of the impending romanticism.

"Just look away if it makes you feel funny."

I have no idea what this drama is about, but regardless, I'm scared...terrified even, for what's to come many years from now when boys enter the picture.

It's a Good Day

If my calculations are correct, I have exactly 224 days, 11 hours, and 30 minutes until I can drop K off at preschool.

That's a very significant amount of time left, and I'm starting to become a little concerned. Scratch that, a lot concerned. For my house. And my sanity.

When K was a baby, some aspects of parenthood were easy. I could put her on a blanket, go run a marathon (I, too, am laughing at that. Me run a marathon, ha!) come back and be certain she was still laying on the blanket, mesmerized by the ceiling fan.

When she was a toddler, I knew what I was in for. We childproofed the cabinets, gated the steps, and put breakables out of reach. The worse that would happen was she would knock over stacks of magazines or chew on her books. Again, easy.

But this stage we're in now, anything but easy. Bathing both of my cats every day for a month would be easy compared to this. I think I've pinpointed the reason the vandalism has reached an all time high in my house, K is not on lock down in solitary confinement similar to the programs in place at San Quentin or Pelican Bay. Unfortunately for me, she's free to roam around the house like a normal preschooler. Another problem, she's growing. She can now climb furniture and reach my hiding spots. I'm being forced to scale counters and furniture myself, just to place things out of her reach.

And after her most recent stunt...

That's chalk. On the walls in my guest room. I needed clarification as to what exactly I was looking at. I'm not sure what you see, but my husband and I had an identical initial reaction. She said the drawing on the right is Rapunzel, apparently you can see her crown. Below Rapunzel is her dress. And, of course, spanning the length of two walls, is Rapunzel's hair. The figure on the left wall is the beloved Flynn Rider. Yeah, that's not what I saw.

Anyway.  In an effort to preserve my sanity, I've decided I need to think outside of the box on this one. Maybe K isn't being a naughty 3 year old.  Maybe, just maybe, my artsy daughter is trying to tell me something. This room needs art. And if I'm not going to take care of the matter, she will take care of it for me.

I'm not sure, but I know that every day her and I don't hurt each other is a good day. 

Bad Boys Finish First

K is hopelessly attracted to bad boys. Scary.

Like, googly eyed, hearts floating around her head attracted.

I remember the day it all began like it was yesterday. She's only 3 1/2, so it was practically yesterday. It was approximately 5:30pm and the mail had just arrived. I know, our mail is ridiculously late. Last night it didn't get here until 6pm. Maybe if our letter carrier didn't spend so much time on her blue tooth, she'd get her mail delivered faster.

There in the box was the coveted red envelope. Tangled, staring Rapunzel and the ruffian, Flynn Rider. From Flynn's first scene on, K was hooked. For those of you lucky enough not to have seen Tangled, let me do the honors...spoiler alert...Bad ass Flynn Rider and his hooligan friends break into the palace to steel the lost princess' tiara.

What a winner, huh! First class! Now you know why I'm so proud that my daughter has found her first true love.

Fast forward a few months. I'm driving, K's in the back holding her Darth Vader action figure in her lap, planning out their wedding I'm sure.

"Mama? Did you know Darth Vader has blue eyes?"

Right. Darth Vader is just so dreamy. She's picked a real jem, a diamond in the rough, I tell you. I'm certainly not a Star Wars expert (thankfully) but even I know he's a shady character. I think I read something about borderline personality disorder, on top of mass murders of course. He's just the kind of guy I want as a future son in-law!

Every now and again I catch her, staring longingly into their eyes. I don't even want to know her thoughts.

I'm saying it now, she's not allowed to date...ever.