Censorship

I have bad news. I was censored.

Now I know what it feels like to be George Orwell. Or Eminem.

I was working on yesterday's post. I needed to do some fact checking, so I texted my husband.

Him: But wait - your NOT blogging about (insert censored topic here) - sorry!

Me: Yes.

Him: Sorry - do not blog about (censored topic)...seriously.

Me: I'm not saying you specifically.

Him: Don't care - u can include many things - no (censored topic.) Please don't write about that.

Me: Ugh.

This text exchange continued, and I'd love to share it all. But I fear the wrath if I do. I'm sure dear husband will already not enjoy this post. See, the thing is, I thought the censored topic was harmless. It's 2012, people do and say far worse than what I wanted to write about. I'm not a nip slip or an obscene hand gesture waiting to happen at the Super Bowl. I can be trusted to blog responsibly. But evidently, he feels otherwise.

And during the entire text conversation, I was cursing myself for fact checking. I know my facts. My memory rocks! Why did I even bother to bring him into it. I should have just written the damn, funny post. Dealing with him afterwards would have been worth it. But, as soon as I knew his feelings on the topic, I was effed.

I should have heeded the advice of successful blogger, Marinka from Motherhood in NYC. In a post written in 2009, she offers blog lessons she's learned. Lesson #3, which I clearly did not follow, is Do not tell anyone about your blog.

"The big downside to telling people about your blog is that they will read it and then you can never blog about them. Well, you can never blog about them in THAT way," -- Marinka

Now I'm stuck. Unless, I find a loop hole. Like maybe next year, I'll turn the censored Lent topic into my own personal Lent story. Then, I can blog about it with reckless abandon. Stay tuned, Lent 2013 might be quite funny.

Temporarily Mourning

Today's Fat Tuesday, which makes tomorrow Ash Wednesday.

I'm not über religious. I like to think of myself as spiritual, instead.

I've never observed Lent. It wasn't something that was a part of my childhood. My mother forced my sisters and me to attend church every Sunday. And never do I remember Lent even being discussed. Maybe because I was too busy reading Sweet Valley High. Regardless, we weren't expected to give anything up for Lent.

Enter my Catholic husband and his family. They observe Lent. So for years, I've listened to them give up red meat, coffee, sprite, and cursing.

This year, being the year of improvement and all, I decided I could benefit from giving up a vice for a few weeks. I narrowed it down to alcohol and television. Alcohol was my original choice but I opted out because I really like it. Giving it up would suck. I enjoy sitting on my back porch on the surprise pre-spring warm night with a skinny girl margarita and my iPad or a good beer with pizza and Old Bay wings or a nice glass of red wine at dinner when we visit my inlaws. Besides, I've done the no alcohol thing when I was pregnant.

That left me with tv. I don't watch a ton of tv. It's never just on as background noise. But I do watch more evening tv than I think I should. I've found myself watching Dance Moms and Pawn Stars purely because I didn't want to turn the tv off. I've actually learned character names in both shows. I have actual opinions about Abby Lee. I've been watching crap. So, I'm giving it up. For 40 days. Entire days. And here is what I'll miss, ranked in order of importance.

1. Young and the Restless...oh I'm so sad, already. I've watched the Newman's and Abbott's for as long as I can remember. I know I can skip a week and not be lost, but 6? I'll have to read weekly recaps. My luck someone will get pregnant, have the baby, send it to boarding school, and it'll be grown up before Easter.
   
2. New Girl...I love Zooey Deschanel.
   
3. NBC's Thursday night lineup; Office, Parks and Rec, Up All Night...you will all be sadly missed. I might just wear black this Thursday.
4. Survivor...this is the show my husband and I watch together. Always. We've done it for years. Now what will we do?
   
5. Cougar Town...maybe with all the extra free time, I'll become a penny can master.
6. Whitney
7. Modern Family
8. Netflix...I will no longer need to update the queue. I pass the torch to my husband. This is your opportunity to watch every movie you've ever said to me, "you never want to watch" about. Have fun.

It appears I like sitcoms.

The good news, I've given myself a few outs to make this successful and realistic.

1. Movies in a theater are okay. Anyone want to go to the movies with me? Apparently, I'll watch anything.
   
2. If a natural disaster occurs, I'm allowed to watch the news coverage. I'm not wishing or anything, just thinking ahead.
   
3. TV watching while sick is fair game. No one should have to suffer without mindless television.

Now we shall see what amazingness I can achieve with tv out of the way. I hope to tackle DIY projects, organize every nook and cranny, develop plans for our backyard, and rediscover my craftiness. Or spend my extra free time on Pinterest. It coud go either way.